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Showing posts with label Santa Banta SMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Santa Banta SMS. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 March 2011

Sardarji's Mom's Letter


Dear Banta

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Monday, 14 March 2011

Job for Sardar


Sardar g ne job k liye apply kia.

Jawab aya to khushi mein

1 Grand party ker dali. Doston ne

fermaish ki k apointmnt lettr dikhao.

Sardar: Ay English ich hy mein tuhanu tarjma kr k dasda haan

"Dear Banta Singh"

Pyare Banta Singh

"You Do not meet"

Tussi te milday hi nai

"our requirements"

Sadi zrurat ho tusi

"no further corspondnce.."

Hun hore chitti di lorr nai, jaldi naal aa jao

"will b entertained"

Twadi boht khatir kiti javay gi

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'


Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas
color TV hai kya?' 'Haan' replies shop owner. Santa
Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'...

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Santa in fire brigade: meray ghar mai aag lag gai ha


Santa in fire brigade

Lady called: meray ghar mai aag lag gai ha

Santa: pani dalo

Lady: dala ha, aag nhi bhuji

Santa: phr hum kia karin, hum ne b tu pani he phenkna ha..

Ghar me aag lag gayi, aag lag gayi


Santa:Ghar me aag lag
gayi, aag lag gayi

Banta:Mujhe kya

Santa: Bevkoof! Tere
ghar me lagi hai

Banta: Fir tujhe kya

Saturday, 26 February 2011

I press the bell but no one comes out


A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for four days.
Lady calls again,
Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out

Thursday, 30 December 2010

School Ahead,Go Slow (Santa Banta SMS)

Teacher: Why are you late?
santa: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
santa:The one sign that says,
"School Ahead,Go Slow".

Oye,Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte! (Santa Banta SMS)

Girlfriend-Tum to bas apne kam me lage rehte ho..
Meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe!
santa -Oye,Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi
karte!

santa ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house (Santa Banta SMS)

santa ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
still he was in jail.......why?
bco’z all the 6 were fire brigade staff!

Sala ye piyano bag kyo nahi raha (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa Singh Ji Zebra Crossing ke Black & White Patte
par Bar Bar
idhar se Udhar chalte the , Woh kya soch rahe honge ?
THINK ?????
Sala ye piyano bag kyo nahi raha

Engagement with you give me a RING? (Santa Banta SMS)

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling my
Engagement with you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure,
Give me ur Telephone No

Monday, 20 December 2010

What is Time? (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?
Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!
Santa: Sala, subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.

Train is coming on platform (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform.

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? (Santa Banta SMS)

Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!

Difference between Man and Woman (Santa Banta SMS)

Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.

Why don't you use a mouth wash? (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"

Frog Vs Santa (Santa Banta SMS)

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

I’m a proud (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!

pehchan lengey (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain. 
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? 
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey. 

Sunday, 19 December 2010

I have seen this man somewhere (Santa Banta SMS)

Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

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