Anybody Who Thinks He Is Stupid, Stand Up

New Teacher: "Anybody Who Thinks He Is Stupid, Stand Up"


Pathan Stoodup.

Teacher: Are You Stupid?

Pathan: Nahi! Aap Akeli Khari Thin. Mujhe Acha Nahi Lag raha Tha. 

Allama Iqbal kon hain?

Ek Pathan ka School mai New Admission Huwa:

Teacher: Batao Allama Iqbal kon hain?



Pathan: Hum ko kya Pata Kon hai?
Aaj He To Hum Aaya Hai.

Apna dawai apna pas rakho hamara ghar main itna chamach nai hai

Doctor:
Ye syrup 2 chmach subha,2 dopeher
2 rat ko, 3 din tak lenay hain.
Pathan:
Apna dawai apna pas rakho hamara ghar main itna chamach nai hai

Mobile No

Pathan bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

kya Cycle hum rakh le?

Judge said to Pathan: Tum per cycle chori ka ilzaam sabit nahi hua lihaza, Tumhain Ba Izzat bari kya jata hai.

Pathan: To kya Cycle hum rakh le?  

Aao Race Lagatay hain

Sardar: Aao Race Lagatay hain, Jo haara woh ek hazaar rupay dega.

Pathan: Lekin Mujhe Rasta nahi Maloom.

Sardar: Bus Tum meray peechay peechay aatay rehna.

Pathan: Thanks Yara..

in which state Ravi Flows...?

Question to Pathan:
in which state Ravi Flows...?
Pathan liquid State.
Audience clapped.
man was shocked, and looking towards the audience,
all were pathan

Pathan mera mobile mian kuch songs dall do

Pathan mera mobile mian kuch songs dall do
shopkeeper: aap kay pass memory card hai..?
Pathan : memory card nhin hay shinakhti card hai.   

Windows 98 in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India a few days ago. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a windows version in Hindi.

Here are some Windows related terms that may be used in the Hindi version of…

Khidkiyan97:
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Paas se dhekho = Zoom
Duur se dhekho = Zoom Out
Kholo = Open
Bandh Karo = Close
Naya = New
Khatara = Old
Badli Karo = Replace
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Kaapi = Copy
Kaato = Cut
Kato = Stupid Houseguest
Chipkao = Paste
Payshul Chipkao = Paste Special
Goli Maaro = Delete
Nazaara = View
Hathiyaar = Tools
Hathiyaar Khambha = Toolbar
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Iska Bhi Naam Nahin Aata = Database
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Thooso = Compress
Chooha = mouse
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar.Udhar-se-Idhar = Scrollbar
Cheers !

Sir, all the items are missing

SARDARJI complained to the police: 'Sir, all the items are missing,
except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'Howz that the thief did not take the TV?'
SARDARJI : 'I was watching TV news...'

agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?

1st sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda so hi jaye  

Sardar in Ufone Job

1 sardar ko ufone main operator ki job mili

Pehle he din usay maar k nikaal dia gaya

coz

1st call:Sir meri ufone ki sim block ho gai hai

Sardar:Te pagla zong lay ley 

Sardar and Waiter

Sardar to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.
It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.
It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today

sardar in interview

Interviewer: tell me opposite of good
Sardar : bad
Interviewer: come
Sardar : go
Interviewer: ugly
Sardar : pichli
Interviewer: ugly?
Sardar : pichli
Interviewer: shitup
Sardar : keep talking
Interviewer: get out
Sardar : come in
Interviewer: Oh my God
Sardar : Oh my devil
Interviewer: you are rejected
Sardar : I m selected

BALLE BALLE  

Sardar Double sawari karty hoay ja rha tha

Police waly ne rok k kaha: Pata nai hy k Double swari pe pabandi hy...

Sardar: pata hai,isi liye to isko wapis chorne ja raha hon......

"Human Being Can Dissolve In Water"

Ek Sardar Apne Ek Dost Ko Pani Mai Phenka,
To Wo Wapis Upar Nahi Aya

Dosre Ko Phenka,
Wo Bhi Nahi Aya

Tesre Ko Phenka
Wo Bhi Nahi Aya

To Sardar Ne Faisla Kia Ke
"Human Being Can Dissolve In Water"

Blood Test

Ek sardar BLOOD Ke bare mein book padh raha tha.

Wife ne poocha aaj ye kyun padh rahay ho?

Sardar:
Mujhe doctor ne kaha hai kal mera blood test hai

Faqeer and Sardar

Faqeer to Sardar:
Aap k padosi ne mujhey pait bhar kar khana khilaya hai, aap bhi kuch de dein..
Sardar:
Ye lo "HAJMOLA.

Distance of earth

 SHIP doob raha tha ek goray ne sardar se pucha yahan se zameen kitni dur hay?
Sardar: 2km
Goray ne samundar mei jump laga ker pucha kis traf?
Sardar: Neechay  

Mr. A.G

Sardar Bullet Singh : Ye Tum Mujh Ko Bharay Bazar Mei “A.G”
Kyun Kehti Ho?
Biwi: Ab Bharay Bazar Mei “Abey Ghaday”
Kahun Gi To Kya Acha Lagay Ga.

sardar thinking

ek sardaar sahab pareshan kharay kuch soch rahay hotay hain,

koi shakhs poochta hai sardar sahab kia soch rahe hain

Sardar: yar mujhe samajh nahi ata k inhe kaise pata chalta hai

Shakhs: kisay kia kaise pata chalta hai?

Sardaar: yar Geo walon ko kaise pata chalta hai ye?

Shakhss: kia kaise pata chalta hai?

Sardar: yar jab bhi lagao bata dete hain k aap dekh rahe hain Geo,

bhala inhe kaise pata chalta hai...!!!

train and aroplane

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya .
1 aadmi ne kaha kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?

dubara itna taiz mat chalana

1 Sardar daru ke nashe me taxi me betha
Bola chalo airport chalo
Taxi wala: tum airport pe hi ho
Sardar: ye lo 50 rs. dubara itna taiz mat chalana

Job for Sardar

Sardar g ne job k liye apply kia.

Jawab aya to khushi mein

1 Grand party ker dali. Doston ne

fermaish ki k apointmnt lettr dikhao.

Sardar: Ay English ich hy mein tuhanu tarjma kr k dasda haan

"Dear Banta Singh"

Pyare Banta Singh

"You Do not meet"

Tussi te milday hi nai

"our requirements"

Sadi zrurat ho tusi

"no further corspondnce.."

Hun hore chitti di lorr nai, jaldi naal aa jao

"will b entertained"

Twadi boht khatir kiti javay gi

un-parh ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai

Sardar : Doctor Sahib chashma laga ke hum Akhbar parh sake ga na?
.
Doctor: Haan, bilkul...!
.
Sardar : Phir theek hai.
Warna un-parh ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai

Hot coffee VS Cold coffee

1 sardar coffee pene jata hai to waiter pochta hai ke hot ya cold coffee.
sardar kahta hai price kya hai. to waiter kehta hai ke hot coffee 5 rupee ki or cold coffee 10 rupee, to sath wale log hot coffee pe rahe they to sardar ne kaha ke jaldi piyo warna 10 rupee dene parhe ge!!

Why you have stolen the money from this man?

Judge: Why you have stolen the money from this man?

Sardar: My lord! I have not stolen the money. He just gave it to me.

Judge: When he gave you the money?

Sardar: When I showed him my gun..

Indication of Indian Flag

Sardar se kisi ne kaha

INDIAN flag main tumhara kya hai

Green 4 muslim

White 4 christ

Orange 4 hindu

nothin 4 u

Sardar thought and replied

OYE .. !

DANDA TERE PIYO DA AY! Flag latkane ke liye dande di jaroorat hoti hai aur wo hamara hai

main ne woh number bandh kar diya hai

Aik admi Ajit singh ko mobile pe bohat tangg karta tha, Ajit sing ne nayi sim le li....aur uss admi ko sms kar ke kaha
"main ne woh number bandh kar diya hai, ab tangg kar ke dikha..."

Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?

Pathan to Sardar: Tell me any 5 animals name live in water?
Sardar: Frog
Pathan Theek hai, or batao,
Sardar: Frog da Piyo, Maa, Pra or Behen.
Pathan: Shabash