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Sunday, 12 December 2010

Peshawar City Of Pakistan

Peshāwar ( Pashto: پېښور Pekhawar/Peshawar, Hindko: پِشور Pishor, Urdu:پشاور), is the capital of the Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa and the administrative centre (but not the capital) for the Federally Administered Tribal Areas of Pakistan. The Kushan kingKanishka, moved the capital from Pushkalavati (now called Charsadda in the Peshawar valley) to Purushapura in the 2nd century CE. The current name "Peshawar" may derive from the Sanskrit Purushapura (meaning "city of men") and is known as Pekhawar orPeshawar in Pashto and Pishor in Hindko. The area originally belonged to Gandhara and the eastern Iranian tribes of Scythian origin and later became part of the Kushan Empire. It gave its name to the Peshwari naan bread, one of the diverse genres of naan common in the curry houses of Great Britain. This naan bread contains coconut and sultanas and is delicious with a cold Cobra. Beer that is, not snake. Briefly it also witnessed some Greek influence after which it saw the Arab conquest and rise of Islam. Today it is one of the prime cities of Pakistan west of the river Indus.


History of Peshawar:



Peshawar is now officially recognised as being one of the Oldest Living Cities in Asia. Its history and culture has continued uninterrupted since several centuries. This fact was confirmed by the discovery of silver punch-marked coins from the Government House in 1906–07 and the ongoing excavation at Gor Khatri which is the deepest and widest in the world. Being among the most ancient cities of the region between Central, South, and West Asia, Peshawar has for centuries been a centre of trade between Afghanistan, South Asia, Central Asia and the Middle East. As an ancient centre of learning, the 2nd century BCE. Bakhshali Manuscript used in the Bakhshali approximation was found nearby.
Peshawar was a major centre of Buddhist learning until the 10th century. As an indication of its importance, Peshawar was also the site of Kanishka's Great Stupa which housed relics of Gautama Buddha, and was widely considered to be the tallest building in the world at the time of its construction. Ancient Chinese manuscripts tell of Buddhist pilgrims such asFaxian, Sung Yun, and Xuanzang reporting that the 7th century stupa, which was rediscovered in the south east of the city at a site called Shahji-ki-Dheri in 1907–08, had a height of 591–689 feet.
Peshawar emerged as a centre of both Hindko and Pashtun intellectuals. Its dominant culture for much of British rule was that of the Hindko speakers, also referred to as "Khaarian" ('city dwellers' in Pashto). Its unique culture, distinct from the surrounding Pashtun areas, led to the city being romanticised by Pashto singers, with songs like larsha Pekhwar tha (let us go to Peshawar) and more recently Pekhawar kho pekhawar dhay kana. This unique culture has gradually disappeared with the massive influx of Afghan refugees and the increasing migration of Pashtuns into the city. The demographics has changed quite dramatically and Pashto is now the dominant language of the city.

Vedic mythology refers to an ancient settlement called Pushkalavati in the area, after Pushkal, the son of King Bharata in the epic Ramayana., but this settlement's existence remains speculative and unverifiable. In recorded history, the earliest major city established in the general area of Peshawar was called Purushapura (Sanskrit for City of Men) and was founded by the Kushans, a Central Asian tribe of Tocharian origin, over 2,000 years ago.[18] Prior to this period the region was affiliated with Gandhara, an ancient Indo-Iranian kingdom, and was annexed first by the Persian Achaemenid empire and then by the Hellenic empire of Alexander the Great. The city passed into the rule of Alexander's successor, Seleucus I Nicator who ceded it to Chandragupta Maurya, the founder of the Maurya Empire in 305 BCE. Buddhism was introduced into the region at this time and may have claimed the majority of Peshawar's inhabitants before the coming of Islam.
Peshawar is located in an area that was dominated by various tribes of Indo-Iranian origin. The region was affiliated with the ancient kingdom of Gandhara and had links to the Harappancivilization of the Indus River Valley and to Bactria and other ancient kingdoms based inAfghanistan. According to the historian Tertius Chandler, Peshawar had a population of 120,000 in the year 100 BCE, making it the seventh most populous city in the world.


Indo-Greek Peshawar



The area that Peshawar occupies was then seized by the Greco-Bactrian king, Eucratides(170 – 159 BCE), and was controlled by a series of Greco-Bactrian and later Indo-Greekkings who ruled an empire that spanned from present day Pakistan to North India. Later, the city came under the rule of several Parthian and Indo-Parthian kings, another group of Iranicinvaders from Central Asia, the most famous of whom, Gondophares, ruled the city and its environs starting in circa 46 CE, and was briefly followed by two or three of his descendants before they were displaced by the first of the "Great Kushans", Kujula Kadphises, around the middle of the 1st century CE.

Gandharan Peshawar

Peshawar formed the eastern capital of the empire of Gandhara under the Kushan kingKanishka, who reigned from at least 127 CE. Peshawar became a great centre of Buddhistlearning. Kanishka built what may have been the tallest building in the world at the time, a giant stupa, to house the Buddha's relics, just outside the Ganj Gate of the old city of Peshawar.

Sometime in the 1st millennium BCE, the group that now dominates Peshawar began to arrive from the Suleiman Mountains of southern Afghanistan to the southwest, the Pashtuns. Over the centuries the Pashtuns would come to dominate the region and Peshawar has emerged as an important centre of Pashtun culture along with Kandahar and Kabul as well as Quetta in more recent times. Muslim Arab and Turkic arrived and annexed the region before the beginning of the 2nd millennium.
The Kanishka stupa was said to be an imposing structure as one travelled down from the mountains of Afghanistan onto the Gandharan plains. The earliest account of the famous building is by the Chinese Buddhist pilgrim monk, Faxian, who visited it in 400 and described it as being over 40 chang in height (probably about 120 m or 394 ft) and adorned "with all precious substances". "Of all the stûpas and temples seen by the travellers, none can compare with this for beauty of form and strength." It was destroyed by lightning and repaired several times. It was still in existence at the time of Xuanzang's visit in 634. From the ruined base of this giant stupa there existed a jewelled casket containing relics of the Buddha, and an inscription identifying Kanishka as the donor, and was excavated from a chamber under the very centre of the stupa's base, by a team under Dr. D.B. Spooner in 1909. The stupa was roughly cruciform in shape with a diameter of 286 feet (87 m) and heavily decorated around the sides with stucco scenes.


Arrival of Islam

The Pashtuns began to convert to Islam following early annexation by the Arab Empire fromKhurasan (in what is today western Afghanistan and northeastern Iran).
Sebuktagin dying in 997 was succeeded as governor of Khorasan by his sonMahmud, who throwing off all dependence on the Samani princes, assumed the title of Sultan in 999. In the early reign of this celebrated invader the plains of Peshawar were again the scene of some great battles, the first of which was fought on the maira between Nowshera and the Indus, in the year 1001. Mahmudwas opposed by Jaipal, who had been constantly endevouring to recover the country wrested from him by Sebuktagin, still aided by some Pathans whose allegiance to the Muslim governor of Peshawar was not of long continuance.
The battle took place on November 27.Jaipal himself being taken prisoner, who upon his subsequent release resigned the crown to his son Anandpal. On this occasion Mahmud punished the Pathans who had sided with the enemy, and as they were now converted entirely to the Islam, they stayed true to their new allegiance.
Peshawar was taken by Turkic Muslims in 988 and was incorporated into the larger Mughal domains by the 16th century. The founder of the Mughul dynasty that would conquer South Asia,Babur, who hailed from current Uzbekistan, came to Peshawar and founded a city called Bagram where he rebuilt the fort in 1530. His grandson, Akbar, formally named the city Peshawar, meaning "The Place at the Frontier" in Persian and expanded the bazaars and fortifications. The Muslim technocrat, bureaucrats, soldiers, traders, scientists, architects, teachers, theologians and Sufis flocked from the rest of the Muslim world to Islamic Sultanate in South Asia and many settled in the Peshawar region.


The Pashtun conqueror Sher Shah Suri, turned Peshawar's renaissance into a boom when he ran his Delhi-to-Kabul Shahi Road through the Khyber Pass and Peshawar. Thus the Mughals turned Peshawar into a "City of Flowers" by planting trees and laying out gardens similar to those found to the west in Iran. Khushal Khan Khattak, the Pashtun/Afghan warrior poet, was born near Peshawar and his life was intimately tied to the city. Khattak was an early Pashtun nationalist, who agitated for an independent Afghanistan including Peshawar. As such, he was an implacable foe of the Mughal rulers, especially Aurangzeb.

Reigns of the Pashtun Kings

After the decline of the Mughal Empire, by the 18th century the city came under Persian control during the reign of Nadir Shah. In 1747, following a loya jirga, Peshawar would join the Afghan/Pashtun empire of Ahmad Shah Durrani as a Pakthun region. Pashtuns from Peshawar took part in the incursions of South Asia during the rule of Ahmad Shah Durrani and his successors.


Peshawar under British Rule

In 1812, Peshawar was a suzerainty of Afghanistan, but contested by the Sikh Empire. The arrival of a party led by British explorer and former agent of the East India Company, William Moorcroft was seen as an advantage, both in dealings with Kabul and in protection against the Sikhs of Lahore. He was even offered the governorship of Peshawar and invited to offer the area's allegiance to the East India Company, which he declined. Moorcroft continued to Kabul in the company of Peshwari forces and thence to the Hindu Kush.

The mountainous areas outside of the city were mapped out in 1893 by Sir Mortimer Durand, then foreign secretary of the British Indian government, who demarcated the boundary of his colony with the Afghan ruler at the time, Abdur Rahman Khan. It is now known as the Durand Line. The Kabul government has argued that the pact expired when British colonialists left the region – although claims to the region have not been a part of official Afghan policy.
In 1818 Peshawar was captured by Maharaja Ranjit Singh and paid a nominal tribute until it was finally annexed in 1834 by the Sikh Empire. An 1835 attempt to retake the city by Dost Mohammad Khan failed when his army declined battle with the Dal Khalsa. His son, Mohammad Akbar Khan, almost retook the city in the Battle of Jamrud in 1837, but was forced to retreat due to logistics problems. With the confusion following the collapse of the Sikh Empire due to the death of Maharaja Ranjit Singh and the Sikh Empire's defeat in the Second Anglo-Sikh War, theBritish occupied Peshawar in 1849.


Durand Line

In 1893, Mortimer Durand negotiated with Abdur Rahman Khan the Amir of Afghanistan the frontier between Afghanistan, the FATA, Khyber-Pakhtunkhwa and Baluchistan Provinces of Pakistan, the successor state of British India, and Afghanistan.
This line, the Durand Line, is named after Sir Mortimer Durand and remains the international boundary between Afghanistan and modern-day Pakistan, officially recognized by most nations but an ongoing point of contention between the two countries.
In 1893, Sir Mortimer Durand was deputed to Kabul by the government of British India for this purpose of settling an exchange of territory required by the demarcation of the boundary between northeastern Afghanistan and the Russian possessions, and in order to discuss with the Amir Abdur Rahman Khan other pending questions. The Amir showed his ability in diplomatic argument, is tenacity where his own views or claims were in debate, with a sure underlying insight into the real situation.
The territorial exchanges were amicably agreed upon; the relations between the British Indian and Afghan governments, as previously arranged, were confirmed; and an understanding was reached upon the important and difficult subject of the border line of Afghanistan on the east, towards India.
In 1893 during rule of Amir Abdur Rahman Khan of Afghanistan a "Royal Commission for setting up of Boundary" the Durand Line betweenAfghanistan and the British-governed India was set up, to negotiate terms with the British, for the Agreeing to the Durand line , and the two parties camped at Parachinar, now part of FATA Pakistan, which is near Khost Afghanistan.
From the British side the camp was attended by Sir Mortimer Durand and Sahibzada Abdul Qayyum, Political Agent Khyber.
The Afghanistan side was represented by Sahibzada Abdul Latif and the Governor KhostSardar Shireendil Khan representing the Amir.


Independence and instability

Until the mid-1950s, Peshawar was enclosed within a city wall and sixteen gates. Of the old city gates, the most famous was the Kabuli Gate but only the name remains to this date. Peshawar has not grown as much in size or capacity as the population has. As a result it has become a polluted and overcrowded city.
In 1947, Peshawar became part of the newly independent state of Pakistan after politicians from the Frontier approved merger into the state that had just been carved from British India. While a large majority of people approved of this action, others believed in the unity of India, such as Abdul Ghaffar Khan. Still others believed that the province should have ascended to Afghanistan – a position which later evolved into a call for a state independent of both Pakistan and Afghanistan.
During the 1980s Soviet war in Afghanistan, Peshawar served as a political centre for the Inter-Services Intelligence-trained mujahideengroups, and housed Afghan refugees at the Jalozai refugee camp. There were a total of about 100,000 Afghan refugees reported in Peshawar during the 1988 election when Benazir Bhutto was running for Prime Minister of Pakistan. Peshawar managed to assimilate many of the ethnic Pashtun Afghans with relative ease and many of them still remain in Pakistan.
Peshawar continues to be a city that links Pakistan with Afghanistan as well as Central Asia, and has emerged as an important regional city in Pakistan. It remains a focal point for Pashtun culture. Today, like the surrounding region, it is at the crossroads of the struggle between the extremist Taliban and moderates, liberals and Pashtun nationalists. As a demonstration of their determination to destroy Pashtun icons, the Taliban bombed the shrine of the most beloved Pashtun poet, Rahman Baba, in 2009.

Peshawar in Pictures:
Islamia College
File:Sunehri maseet da booa.JPG
Sunehri Mosque
File:Peshawar Museum.JPG
Peshawar Museum

File:Lady Reading Hospital Peshawar.JPG
Lady Reading Hospital
File:Government High School Peshawar.JPEG
Government Higher Secondary School
File:Mohabatkhanmosque.jpg
Interior of the Mahabat Khan Mosque. Although Islam is the majority religion in the city, it has a significant Sikh and Hindu population.
File:Peshawaroldcitygate.jpg
Western gateway of the Gor Khatri caravanserai
File:Old Peshawar.jpg
Old Peshawar
File:Islamia College Peshawar University.JPG
Islamia College at the University of Peshawar
File:Kenta Kerr, Peshawar.JPG
Clock Tower of Peshawar city known as "Ghanta Ghar (Clock Home)" in Urdu
File:Razi Institute of Medical Sciences.JPG
Razi Institute of Medical Sciences, Peshawar; one of the leading paramedical institutes of the Province
File:Mahabat Khan maseet tay phulkari.JPG
Flower work inside Mohabbat Khan Mosque
File:Dry Fruit Wala. Peshawar.jpg
Peshawar is known for its dry fruits.This is one of the vendors in Namak Mandi
File:Peshawar Airport (retouched).JPG
Peshawar International Airport

Peshawar Chuba Chok carpet market
Peshawar‑Bala-e-Hisar
Man preparing carpet 
carpets of Peshawar
PRSP (PIPOS Rehabilitation Services Project)

English Poetry

And so it came to be

And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
something....

hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.

I Will Survive

I Will Survive

I will survive this pain,
day by day it shall fade away.
And the memories we shared I will not recall,
Until there is nothing left of them at all.

I will survive

With your cruelty you tore my world apart,
so I pray to the Lord to rip you from my heart,
The man you have become I do not know,
you have caused me nothing but woe.

But I will survive

You leave me with nothing to spare,
and empty home without my daughter there.
Such evil I did not think could be true,
Why did I not see, you had this in you?

I will survive

Why did I ever make you my life?
Why did I ever become your wife?
I pray to God to dry the tears from my eyes,
But this is how it ends when love dies.

And I will survive

Someday my wounds will heal,
This pain I have, I will not feel,
I will grow stronger in everything,
And soon my new life I will begin.

I will survive

Haven

Does heaven have a phone number?
Mommy went to heaven,
but I need her here today.
My tummy hurts and I fell down;
I need her right away.

Operator, can you tell me
how to find her in this book?
Is heaven in the yellow part?
I don't know where to look.

I think my daddy needs her too,
at night I hear him cry.
I hear him call her name sometimes,
but I really don't know why.

Maybe if I call her,
she will hurry home to me.
Is heaven very far away?
Is it across the sea?

She's been gone a long, long time-
she needs to come home now!
I really need to reach her.
I simply don't know how.

Help me find the number, please.
Is it listed under "heaven"?
I can't read these big, big words;
I am only seven.

I'm sorry, operator,
I didn't mean to make you cry.
Is your tummy hurting too--
or is there something in your eye?

If I call my church
maybe they will know.
Mommy said when we need help
that's where we should go.

I found the number to my church
tacked up on the wall.
Thank you, operator
I'll give them a call.

unnoticed

unnoticed

She is lonely
Even though you can't tell
She is reaching out
For what, she doesn't know
She will continue to sit in silence
And hope that someone may stumble across
Her and all of her emptiness
But they only hope that they do it in time
Otherwise she will have drifted too far
And she may let go
Of whatever grasp of the world she has
As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone
Nearly unnoticed.

Broken Dreams

Broken Dreams


There is grey in your hair.
Young men no longer suddenly catch their breath
When you are passing;
But maybe some old gaffer mutters a blessing
Because it was your prayer
Recovered him upon the bed of death.
For your sole sake - that all heart's ache have known,
And given to others all heart's ache,
From meagre girlhood's putting on
Burdensome beauty - for your sole sake
Heaven has put away the stroke of her doom,
So great her portion in that peace you make
By merely walking in a room.
Your beauty can but leave among us
Vague memories, nothing but memories.
A young man when the old men are done talking
Will say to an old man, "Tell me of that lady
The poet stubborn with his passion sang us
When age might well have chilled his blood.'
Vague memories, nothing but memories,
But in the grave all, all, shall be renewed.
The certainty that I shall see that lady
Leaning or standing or walking
In the first loveliness of womanhood,
And with the fervour of my youthful eyes,
Has set me muttering like a fool.
You are more beautiful than any one,
And yet your body had a flaw:
Your small hands were not beautiful,
And I am afraid that you will run
And paddle to the wrist
In that mysterious, always brimming lake
Where those What have obeyed the holy law
paddle and are perfect. Leave unchanged
The hands that I have kissed,
For old sake's sake.
The last stroke of midnight dies.
All day in the one chair
From dream to dream and rhyme to rhyme I have
ranged
In rambling talk with an image of air:
Vague memories, nothing but memories.

I was wrong...so very wrong

I was wrong...so very wrong.

I thought you were special, different from the other guys,
But I was wrong, so very wrong about you...
It's plain to see why you have stopped messaging me,
even a 3 year-old kid could tell the reason.

I thought a guy like you, sees beyond one's looks,
But I was wrong, so very wrong about you...
If I was prettier, if I was more popular,
you would not hesitate to be my friend, would you?

I thought this friendship of ours could last,
But I was wrong, so very wrong about it...
I would give anything to keep this friendship,
but would it be of any use?

I thought you would be there to dry my tears,
But I was wrong, so very wrong about you...
A million tears I cry would not salvage this friendship,
so why should I go on crying day and night?
I thought you were the one for me, my soul mate,
But I was wrong, so very wrong about you...
Now that my heart had been shattered,
somehow I can see better, without this illusion.

Why did you let me fall so deeply in love with you,
without intending to catch me when I fell?
I deserved it, they say, but it's true,
because I was wrong, so very wrong about things...

Now that it's all over and done,
and time for me to move on without you,
all I hope for, is for you to remember me,
that is not too much to ask for, is it?

something

something.....

And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.

From Paradise Lost

Of Man's first disobedience, and the fruit
Of that forbidden tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the world, and all our woe,
With loss of Eden, till one greater Man
Restore us, and regain the blissful seat,
Sing, Heav'nly Muse, that, on the secret top
Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire
That shepherd who first taught the chosen seed
In the beginning how the Heav'ns and Earth
Rose out of Chaos; or, if Sion hill
Delight thee more, and Siloa's brook that flow'd
Fast by the oracle of God, I thence
Invoke thy aid to my advent'rous song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th' Aonian mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in prose or rhyme.
And chiefly thou, O Spirit, that dost prefer
Before all temples th' upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for thou know'st; thou from the first
Wast present, and, with mighty wings outspread,
Dovelike sat'st brooding on the vast abyss,
And mad'st it pregnant: what in me is dark
Illumine; what is low, raise and support;
That, to the height of this great argument,
I may assert Eternal Providence,
And justify the ways of God to men.

Remembrance

Cold in the earth—and the deep snow piled above thee,
Far, far removed, cold in the dreary grave!
Have I forgot, my only Love, to love thee,
Severed at last by Time's all-severing wave?

Now, when alone, do my thoughts no longer hover
Over the mountains, on that northern shore,
Resting their wings where heath and fern-leaves cover
That noble heart for ever, ever more?

Cold in the earth, and fifteen wild Decembers
From those brown hills have melted into spring:
Faithful indeed is the spirit that remembers
After such years of change and suffering!

Sweet Love of youth, forgive if I forget thee,
While the world's tide is bearing me along:
Sterner desires and other hopes beset me,
Hopes which obscure, but cannot do thee wrong!

No later light has lightened up my heaven;
No second morn has ever shone for me:
All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,
All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.

But when the days of golden dreams had perished,
And even Despair was powerless to destroy,
Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,
Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy;

Then did I check the tears of useless passion,
Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine;
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten
Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And even yet I dare not let it languish,
Dare not indulge in Memory's rapturous pain;
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,
How could I seek the empty world again?

My Dear and Loving Husband

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more that whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay,
The heavens reward thee manifold I pray.
Then while we live, in love let’s so persever,
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

One year already, passed

One year already, passed,
countless tears, I'd poured,
so much dualities to be fought,
to accept that you left...

All love affairs I had, same choice to be made,
to stay or to satisfy,
why so much suffering,
why taken there to be so intense?

However it was not the first time,
knew, at first, that I had to be wary of you,
you resembled what I call "Passion",
and me, I am a girl rather of "Reason".

How would have been able to avoid liking myself?
did not know how to protect myself from it,
who does not like this impression:
to be pervaded by overpowering shiver?

Infatuation for attraction,
impregnated all being in your presence,
this need to merge...
even when elsewhere they are loved?

Always I questioned,
to know, to choose in front of this duality?
all my life I shall have, however make the same choice,
to go back towards my home, towards my "Reason".

Almost one year when our history is finished,
think of you more than ever, I love you, someplace in the infinity,
left " my Passion " behind me,
passion which will have put in danger
the only weapon, I've, my "Reason"...

Punctuated Lies

Punctuated Lies
Articulated brilliantly,
a bitter disguise,
My inbox is full
with your punctuated lies.

Consonants and vowels,
perfectly placed,
Deceit in each line,
so evenly spaced.

Sincerities facade in
twelve point font,
Spinning words in a web
to get what you want.

X’s and O’s that
seem out of place,
Spell-checked and perfect
all honesty erased.

Seduction with grammar,
cheap and pathetic,
I try to delete you,
your voice so esthetic.

Recycle-bin escapee
risen from dead,
Quite the cordial letter
new lies never said.

Pretend I am immune,
Ignore the “I love you”
(the one you didn’t mean).

Vocabulary dancing
you take the lead,
Such eloquent deception
open wounds to bleed...


FORWARD, Baby, forward,
to the one who wears your ring,
‘Cause this shall be your last dance
as I DELETE your everything.

I wonder how you’ll explain,
what fancy things you’ll say,
When she can see whose IN-BOX
you’ve been playing in today.

On His Blindness

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide,
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide,
'Doth God exact day labor, light denied?'
I fondly ask. But Patience to prevent
That murmur soon replies, 'God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts. Who best
Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait.'

wings to fly

wings to fly

How can I always lend a hand
But ignore the cries within myself
It brings me joy to bring you a smile
But my emptiness still sits up on the shelf

Inside my heart will always bleed
But I will never let it be shown on my face
Only the tear that falls down my cheek
Will give you a glimpse, a shadow, a trace

I suffocate when I try to breathe
The chains you gave won't let my body go
I have dreams, and needs, and wants
My body is numb, I think maybe you should know

I struggle with my demons each day
You feed them while you slowly watch me die
Please let me be and please set me free
I want to smile as I look up at the sky

I want the moon to brighten the night
I want the clouds to pass me on by
I want the stars to guide me to heaven
And I want wings to life me and fly

I try, I really try to forget

I try, I really try to forget
How it was for us
Lying in your strong arms
My love for you filling my heart to overflowing
Almost breaking out of my chest
The feelings were so intense.

I try! I really try to tell myself
I WILL love again !
Then I see your smiling face in my inner vision
I hear the memory of your voice
The one that made my wings take flight
And my body reel with my longing

When I wake in the cold dawn, alone
Even the pillows I place where you used to lie
No longer comfort me….even half asleep!

You are gone! You are gone………
And my heart is an empty hollow
And my mind crucifies me all over again.

Never give your heart to this degree
Love by all means and with a passion!
But never put your soul completely on the line
For a mere mortal……..

Love and trust, take risks and live.
Of course do these things…
But keep a tiny bit of soul to cuddle up to
A tiny reason and part of you
Which wants to live and try again

Otherwise you will become as one
Who enters the party dressed to kill
Makes wonderful conversation
And everyone laughs alongside
Never realising your heart
Is a cold and inaccessible tomb.

Last Day

Last Day

If today were the last day I had with you,
What would we say?
What would we do?
Would it be just another day with you?
I tell you I love you.
You say okay.
What do you mean?
This is my last day.
I ask to kiss you.
You say sure.
I lean over
And put my lips to yours.
The end of the night
I give you a hug
I say goodbye
You simply shrug.
I cry on my bed
And pick up the gun
I put the barrel to my head
And pull the trigger.
If today was the last day I had with you,
What would we say?
What would we do?
Would it be just another day with you?

I was sitting in a dark corner

I was sitting in a dark corner
When suddenly it hit me
Just like lighting and thunder
I knew neither pain or happiness
My nights were cold and lonely
My days were short and weary
I was between shadows and lights
And came under the impression
That this life was the only thing given to me
You took me away from the perilous world
And turn my so called shelter into a paradise
I felt tranquility, it was something new to me
My life blossomed and everything was awesome
I remember this feeling, this emotion, which was full of devotion
Love, just extraordinary love.

Loneliness You left me alone

Loneliness

You left me alone
So I sit here and cry
I'm alone with my knife
Soon I shall die
You told me you loved me
I thought it was true
I saw you with that girl
She was all over you
I stood staring
Your eyes met mine
You started running
But I had already died
I ran home
With tears in my eyes
I knew what i would do
No matter how many tries
I locked the door
And sat on my bed
No one can stop me
No matter how many tears shed
I take my knife
And slit my wrists
I feel the blood draining
This is my last gift
You break down the door
And enter my room
You sit next to me
You don't know of my doom
You don't know what happened
Let me explain
I only nod
I feel a bit faint
I was going home
She needed a ride
I stopped at the Sonic
My throat was so dry
Next thing I knew
She had me in back
Then yo walked up
I wanted you back
It's too late
I simply say
I show you my wrists
You can only gaze
You grab a few tissues
And press them on the wounds
You hold me tight
I feel my life sliping
The last thing I know
The last thing I say
Goodbye my love
Then all fades away
I'm in a bright place
The street glitters gold
I begin to walk forward
Until you grab a hold
I turn around
To see your face
You're smiling at me
You're in this place?
What do you think?
You ask grinning
Without you
My life's not worth living
You wrap your arms around me
And give me a kiss
We walk hand in hand
Into eternal bliss
It was a bad life
With the perfect death
My love is here with me
This is true happiness

I've never been for the word love

I've never been for the word love
As silly as it may seem
Too many people just say it
But not knowing what it means

And even though I am in love
It's something I'll never show
I'll never stop to say that words
So I'll guess you'll never know

I've never been for promises
They make people look like fools
No one ever means to keep them
They'll be broken just like rules

And even though I am sincere
And feel it's something I owe
I can't say I'll be there for you
So I'll guess you'll never know

I've never been for love symbols
Those really stupid tokens
People give them out like presents
Then leave your heart all broken

And even though I want to kiss
You under the mistletoe
I don't feel its right to do that
So I'll guess you never know

I've never been for anyone
Cause there's no one just like you
How can I tell you how I feel
When this world made love untrue

And even though I feel for you
I'll let my emotions go
I don't think these words mean enough
So I'll guess you'll never know

I've never been for sad goodbyes
Cause I don't know what I'll lose
I've never left a friend behind
It is something I will refuse

And even though I really want you
Away my love, I will throw
I can't say what you want to hear
So I'll guess you'll never know

Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng.

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,
Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,
E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Urdu Poetry

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